541st Vendetta #12: Crispian

A little sloppy with the GIMP work, had some difficulties with the foreground/background positioning of layers, but it came out admirably, regardless. The last story-driven piece for a while, so all you combat junkies can rejoice . Also, picture number two was buggered up some how by the uploader - and I can't be bothered to fix it . Too wide, so the text didn't appear, I guess. It's supposed to read:


Other than that, there are no other errors I'm aware of. I'd also crap bricks if anyone could tell me the origin of Col. Kaier's speech... .



















































:grin:

Out-bloody-standing

That's the only thing I can think off to simpily describe this. I adore those two new commanders, how it switches from Equinox to the 541st, and the sets! Brillaint!

Oh, and if you updated your legion thread with those two new commanders, then I will be simpily overjoyed.

-Aki- wrote:
Oh, and if you updated your legion thread with those two new commanders, then I will be simpily overjoyed.

What two commanders?

Merc Chic and Company?
Or Akrah and Shiko?

Because the latter are the 815th Corps' officers... although Jinja still won't lemme use my rendition as a temporary picture until Jake finishes the real deal .

That captain and the other guy Turaki was adressing before doing his speech.

Great comic Sial! The GIMPing is amazing, and the intermingling of orders was done impeccably!
The speech is from Henry V, by Shakespeare, as is the title.

Oh, yes.

I might just have to expand my "Field Command section" .

Heady wrote:Great comic Sial! The GIMPing is amazing, and the intermingling of orders was done impeccably!
The speech is from Henry V, by Shakespeare, as is the title.

So people aren't as Shakespeare-less as I thought them to be .

/Is happy

darn you, five word rule!

Very nice comic, as usual.

-Aki- wrote:Out-bloody-standing

That's the only thing I can think off to simpily describe this. I adore those two new commanders, how it switches from Equinox to the 541st, and the sets! Brillaint!

Oh, and if you updated your legion thread with those two new commanders, then I will be simpily overjoyed.

Once I get in, can you incorporate my legion into your comics? Mine will be the 539th.

About the comic: WOW! I loved the galaxy holo.

moosacw@ Lolwut?

Story was nice, the transitions between Equinox and the 541st weren't too choppy, and your little dialouge with Akrah was excellent at the end.

Meh. I dislike the whole "look at me, I'm writing talking tactics" bit for a couple of reasons. Firstly, it violates the key rule of visual media: show, don't tell. Sure, we could read Turaki telling everyone their tactics, OR you could just show us the tactics in action during the battle. There is virtually no need for you to make these scenes where the guy in charge tells the audience what's going to happen next time (you did it before in Chronicles, when Ied was preparing to rescue Kaier), with one or two exceptions:

1) When the tactics themselves are interesting - e.g. a particularly improbable mission or zany scheme. Sometimes even then it's best to just show them.
2) When the tactics won't actually be shown in action for whatever reason, such as the always-popular "everything goes horribly wrong". In this instance, though, the descriptions of tactics still need to be short and succint to keep the audience from feeling let down. For example, if they've spent aeons wandering throughj the build-up, only for none of it to happen, they're going to resent you for it.

Now, this isn't a case of point 1, as the tactics are the pretty routine "you go here, you go there" - not exceptionally interesting and, frankly, something that you really shouldn't waste all that dialogue on. If you're going for point 2 and both sets of plans are going to unravel in the next episode, you've tripped up again, as the build-up from today's comic won't be paid off and will have been pointless. Still, I'd say it's your best bet, as having to read the boring stock tactics, then watch the boring stock tactics may be too much for some readers to handle. Arkania chick swinging by and screwing things up for everyone would be much more entertaining.

Secondly, Turaki quoting Skakespeare? Not for me, thanks. Alright, I can accept characters occasionally using a line as if they just made it up, as an example of them being particularly eloquent. But using a whole (rather famous) speech, and then acknowledging that it was actually a quote? Not only does it break the fourth wall (quite badly, seeing as Shakespeare is actually in the far future for these guys), but it's also an especially egregious example of (to quote TVTropes) "Realistic Diction is Unrealistic" - a trope that, when used too much, can be quite annoying. It's acceptable for characters' dialogue to be slightly unrealistic, as 'real' dialogue would be tedious to read. However, having entire motivational speeches pre-prepared and spoken without the slightest error is taking it too far. I know Turaki's cultured, but nobody makes dramatic speeches on a battlefield. At least, nobody without an inherent wish to get sniped while standing on top of the hill, silhouetted by the gorramn sunset. Just lay off the Hollywood, 'kay?

Wow Jinja!

Juh? This is Sial's comic, y'know...

I really like the special effects here, especially in the background. And when he quoted Shakespeare, I laughed.

Jinja, you make valid points, and perhaps I'll apply what you've said in later comics. However this comic was simply intended to span a bridge between the night hours and the morning, span a bridge between what is planned and what will transpire (so people aren't scratching their heads in confusion when it does or does not), and span a bridge between the story and combat sections of the comic. It's - as you are wont to say - a build up; as well as a connecting span. And the best way was to make a semi-dramatic attempt at going through what will happen in the subsequent comics. Perhaps I shouldn't have given it an entire episode, but there's no use in complaining about it now.

Secondly, I could assert that similar, almost identical, literature could have been penned in this alternate (because that's where Star Wars takes place) universe. If there are billions of sentient beings, it's hard to believe that there can't be one man, or group of men, who had similar ideas to those of our own great writers.

Thirdly, I like dramatic speeches.

Fourthly, it isn't the battlefield.

Fifthly, I'm rather glad you write these essays about the merits and demerits of my comics. It's helpful to know what works and what doesn't work. Shame you didn't do it in excess during Chronicles, or I would have recognized these potential flaws earlier.

When I said Wow jinja, I meant about what you wrote.

Man, when you continue Vendetta, there is going to be a massacre. An entire droid legion assigned to a Captain? Piss-poor odds for the 541st. Other than that, really nice comic. That holochart looks like it took a lot of work.

Hang on, fridge logic moment...

...if Kaier's a colonel, why is he in charge of a legion? Surely he should be a general?

Tactics are important Jinj. I want to know the plan. It sets up who will be fighting who.

Finally, fantastic work Sial! Your edited skies look awesome compared to mine!

The Jinja Ninja wrote:Hang on, fridge logic moment...

...if Kaier's a colonel, why is he in charge of a legion? Surely he should be a general?

Only Jedi get that title of General. The 541st was SUPPOSED to be be lead by a Jedi General, and Kaier just one of his subordinates. When the General was killed, Kaier took over; and because so many Jedi were lost at Geonosis, no one made much fuss when a replacement request wasn't submitted.

At least, that's how I wrote my backstory .

By the way, Sial, how did you make that scope for Ied's gun?

It was made by cutting a black pin in half, then glueing both sides onto the scope.